[His shoulders soften and he drops his arms, never realizing, as his chest folds in on itself, that it could hurt to know he was enough. That he had been enough to Ed from the start and that he had been so close to having him, to avoiding the violent back and forth that had robbed them both of so much time and energy they'd never get back.]
But I guess it doesn't matter now. [Or so he tells himself, over and over, waiting for the day when it will finally stick and he'll find peace, closure.] I... assume that ship has sailed?
[It's not meant to be a question at all, but his tone just barely makes it one, a cautious, childishly hopeful one, while the rest of him braces for the rejection he's had a long time to try and build himself up against. Still, sensing a gut-stab was coming has never made it hurt any less.]
no subject
[His shoulders soften and he drops his arms, never realizing, as his chest folds in on itself, that it could hurt to know he was enough. That he had been enough to Ed from the start and that he had been so close to having him, to avoiding the violent back and forth that had robbed them both of so much time and energy they'd never get back.]
But I guess it doesn't matter now. [Or so he tells himself, over and over, waiting for the day when it will finally stick and he'll find peace, closure.] I... assume that ship has sailed?
[It's not meant to be a question at all, but his tone just barely makes it one, a cautious, childishly hopeful one, while the rest of him braces for the rejection he's had a long time to try and build himself up against. Still, sensing a gut-stab was coming has never made it hurt any less.]