[ So first, there's the card, signed inside with John's atrocious writing.
Then, waiting proudly on the kitchen table is a rather sizable, obnoxiously green gift basket. Huge green heart-shaped balloons bob from their strings, tied to the handle of the basket. Sparkly green ribbons and shiny green plastic wrapping encase the plethora of gifts inside, which, surprise surprise, are also all green.
There are silk ties in various shades; and some are actually extremely high class, chic and stylish, while some absolutely awful to behold. One of them might have an avocado on it. There's a variety of green candy; green jellybeans and green lollipops and green gummies. Green taffy, green chewing gum. There's seemingly random bits and bobs like green buttons, a few green fidget spinners, green sticky notes and green pens. And of course, a green glass apple paperweight.
But there are a few more significant gifts hidden in the chaos. A necklace he'd found. A mask. An innocent enough looking green and black umbrella with a surprisingly sharp tip and handle with a particularly curious shape. A switchblade. A set of 9 green smoke bombs.
And at the bottom of the basket, there's a picture frame (only you better believe those peace signs are questionmarks/Js) with the first photo John had ever taken of the two of them together.
These are all the items John intended to be in the gift basket. There are however, a few items that he (probably) never intended to be there, because Duplicity Fuckery (TM Duplicity). Obviously, you gotta have the green apple lube. And the green braided silk ropes. Those don't come without a green leather horse-crop, either. The green ball-gag was probably complementary. And no one was ordering the green nipple clamps so those were also freebies, most likely. ]
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Then, waiting proudly on the kitchen table is a rather sizable, obnoxiously green gift basket. Huge green heart-shaped balloons bob from their strings, tied to the handle of the basket. Sparkly green ribbons and shiny green plastic wrapping encase the plethora of gifts inside, which, surprise surprise, are also all green.
There are silk ties in various shades; and some are actually extremely high class, chic and stylish, while some absolutely awful to behold. One of them might have an avocado on it. There's a variety of green candy; green jellybeans and green lollipops and green gummies. Green taffy, green chewing gum. There's seemingly random bits and bobs like green buttons, a few green fidget spinners, green sticky notes and green pens. And of course, a green glass apple paperweight.
But there are a few more significant gifts hidden in the chaos. A necklace he'd found. A mask. An innocent enough looking green and black umbrella with a surprisingly sharp tip and handle with a particularly curious shape. A switchblade. A set of 9 green smoke bombs.
And at the bottom of the basket, there's a picture frame (only you better believe those peace signs are questionmarks/Js) with the first photo John had ever taken of the two of them together.
These are all the items John intended to be in the gift basket. There are however, a few items that he (probably) never intended to be there, because Duplicity Fuckery (TM Duplicity). Obviously, you gotta have the green apple lube. And the green braided silk ropes. Those don't come without a green leather horse-crop, either. The green ball-gag was probably complementary. And no one was ordering the green nipple clamps so those were also freebies, most likely. ]